Parallels

The thing about a global pandemic that has been the most interesting to me is seeing how it parallels our military lives.

I have spent my time on social media reading and listening to all the things that people are struggling with.

They are struggling with not seeing their families and friends on holidays. They can't comprehend not getting together over the Easter weekend or, for some, every week. 

They are struggling with all of their communication being done digitally. They are dealing with how hard it is to converse and show love through phone screens and messages.

They are struggling with being a solitary family unit. They can't lean on their families and communities in ways that they are used to.

They are struggling with depression, loneliness, screen fatigue, and relationship issues with the people in their homes.

And to be honest, I feel affirmed as hell. I don't want everyone to feel this way but I do feel like I am seeing my own struggles with the first few years of military life living overseas being played out by everyone on social media. Everyone is struggling with it. And it affirms my own struggles with military life. 

Now you know how it feels to be a military family. Now you know what it was like for me, I think to myself as I read a post after post complaining about the things that I've experienced for years.

I don't want to shame people for complaining and I would never comment directly, but I want to remind people that this is often the experience that we military spouses and members have when we live so far away from our families and communities. 

We miss holidays and family gatherings to the point where I put in the bare minimum for holidays now. We don't get to have weekly dinners with family or friends where we have our cups overfilled with the love that comes from those relationships.

We have to communicate with everyone over the phone or by staring at one another through a screen. It's not the same. You know that now. 

Being a solitary family unit can be depressing and lonely. I've dealt with these issues over and over again since Brandon joined.

Yes, we can build communities and friendships but it is hard to do it over and over again knowing that they will most likely be gone and out of our lives in a few years. It is also hard to find your people. For me, it can take years before I feel truly comfortable with someone. 

Military life is hard. Pandemic life is hard. I just hope that others can see the parallels and finally understand when I describe how hard military life can be.