The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

 This book.

I found myself absorbed into this book. I felt broken down by this book. Broken in the way that life-changing truths can break you. I believe in the power of books, words, ideas, and the way they come together in a story to change you.

And I think this one did. I can't get past the idea of life being full of regrets and choices, sadness and happiness, light and dark, and that will be true no matter what your life looks like. I can't get past the idea that the true beauty in living is seeing that you have to be appreciative of what you have in front of you.

This book made me want to believe in parallel universes. It made me want to believe in an infinite number of Megans out in the world living completely different lives than the one I sit in today.

The Megan who lived out her childhood dream of being a writer living in New York City. The Megan who still lives in her hometown and has two kids. The Megan who joined the Peace Corps and lives in a completely different world. The Megan who met a handsome foreigner and lives in a tiny cottage in the south of France. The Megan who stayed single and travels around the world with friends. The Megan who went to a big university and is under a mountain of debt now. The Megan that became a mother and loves it. The Megan that became a mother and hates it. The Megan who wrote a book. The Megan that became a college professor. The Megan that lives in a house with a group of female friends. The Megan who lives in a little house by the sea and paints and drinks tea. The Megan who never met Brandon and lives in her small town still. The Megan who moves to Greece and eats fresh yoghurt and honey every morning. The Megan who teaches English in Paris and picks up a baguette on her way home from work. The Megan who lives in a tiny village and rides her pink basketed bicycle to work every morning. The Megan who lives in Seattle and writes for a newspaper. The Megan who jumps out of planes and has no fear. The Megan who married a woman. The Megan who adopted four kids and revels in it. The Megan who opened a school for girls and spends her days inspiring young girls to be anyone they want. The possibility of all those Megans out in the world feels so fulfilling and empowering. 

I have this mental picture in my head of all these Megans out living their lives, still feeling sad, happy, confused, and unsure of herself because those experiences are essential to being human. I can see myself standing in the center of a whirlwind of echoes from those parallel lives. Unable to fully see them and yet feeling how different and wonderful all their lives are. 

Just like how different and wonderful this life I sit in now is. 

It isn't often that a book comes into your life and changes your perspective. Changes how you see yourself and the world around you. A book that comes into your life and makes you more grateful, humbled, and compassionate about the hardships of being human. That we're all experiencing joy, sadness, confusion, and regret for the choices we think ruined our lives. That the only flaws in our lives are being unwilling to look past the regret to see everything we should be thankful for.

Thank you, Matt Haig, for writing a book that completely changed my perspective, came at a timely moment in my life where thoughts and conversations around choices and regret were commonplace and creating this new space where I can imagine all the lives I could have lived. And perhaps, am living. Thank you.