Grateful Sunday

Another week has come and gone and here I sit thinking about everything I have to be grateful for. Thinking about all the ways that luck has shined down on me.

I've spent this beautiful spring day basking in the sunshine while I drink a slow cup of coffee and read a delightful book. I took a bubble bath and relaxed in the beautiful smell and lavishness of a deep tub. I laid on my bed after that bubble bath and listened to music with the door open and the soft breeze blowing across my face. I took my yoga mat to the front porch and stretched my body in a way that feels good and sat quietly in contemplation when I was done. And now here I sit, on that same front porch with the dogs sleeping at my feet, struggling to write about the solitude, contentment, and joy that I feel today. Struggling to explain the duality of the peace and vitality I feel inside on this day. Sunshine changes things. Being outdoors changes things. It has a way of making us feel whole again. I am thankful for Sundays that are focused on self-care and self-love when I need them the most.

I am thankful for a passion that will hopefully bloom into a career. My mentors around me have been so affirming of this passion and love of teaching in me and I can't say how grateful I am for those affirmations. I need them when things are tough. Because teaching will always be tough at times and joy-filled at others. It will break your heart, make you laugh like you haven't before, and allow you to love other people's children as you lead them to knowledge and curiosity. I haven't always done an amazing job in these student teaching experiences. I have failed again and again. But I have always taken those moments of failure and learned from them. And that's what matters.

I am grateful for a husband who celebrates my successes and believes in me. I am thankful for his words of encouragement and love when I was struggling and hurting inside. I can't believe that I am lucky enough to have a love like this. I dreamed of a love like this when I was a kid. So convinced that it would never happen for me. But it did and it's better and worse and more wonderful than I ever could have imagined.

I am grateful for friends and family who listen to me talk nonstop about my students and teaching even when I know I should shut up because they aren't interested. Thank you for trying not to yawn while I yabber on.

I am grateful for Spring and all the feelings of reflection, joy, and love that it brings out in me and the ability to enjoy the sunshine. Thank you, Mother Nature for ending the long winter and letting us know that all bad things come to an end.

This is the best day I've had in quite some time. Spent alone doing the things that bring me joy. And I am so thankful for that time.

Favorite Ways to Relax

I like to think about relaxation in terms of self-care. What are the things I am doing that make me feel most at peace and intentional with who I am and who I want to be? That is the question I would like to ask myself as I think about my favorite ways to relax.

Sure, watching TV and scrolling through Instagram or Pinterest can be relaxing but not in the way that is going to allow me to love myself and feel whole again when I'm finished.

Unfortunately, I do more watching TV and phone scrolling than anything else on this list. This is my reminder of the things that make me feel good, whole, and like I love myself.

1. A hot bath. I must say I have a love/hate relationship with taking baths. On one hand, taking the time to soak in water, salts, and coconut milk (my best tip for soft skin right out of the bath) feels luxurious and so self-indulgent. As soon as I get out of that hot water, I am ready to go to bed or take a nap. It is the ultimate form of relaxation. However, when I am actually in the bath, I can get so bored. I've taken to watching Grey's Anatomy on the iPad in the bath just so I don't get so incredibly bored. I've tried podcasts, music, candles, etc. I always seem to get bored. Maybe I need to look at it as a form of meditation to quietly relax in the bathtub without distractions.

2. Speaking of meditation... This one is so hard! It is by far one of the best things I do for my mental health and yet, I am so bad about doing it consistently. I know that if I were to keep it up, I would feel better, make better decisions, and be more at peace in my everyday life (also much more patient and kind to my students). It is something I have even implemented in the classroom when we need moments of calm. I need more of it in my personal life though.

3. Yoga. Another thing that I wish I did more of but rarely stay consistent with it. There is something about doing yoga that makes me self-reflective when I'm done and makes my body feel stretched out in a good way.

4. Hot coffee or green tea. I've realized that although I'm not caffeine dependent (I don't get headaches or anything if I don't have it), it does make me so much more energetic and happy in the mornings. However, I've taken to just drinking it as I drive or as I begin my day at the school instead of really sitting down and savoring my cup. Taking the time to mindfully drink tea or coffee is such a simple pleasure for relaxation.

5. Reading. 2018 was my year for reading. Now, with student teaching and being so busy with assignments and spending so much time with other people, I haven't been reading hardly at all. I know that being a reader is a huge part of my identity and I will always come back to it. But I also need to remember to take time for it even when my schedule is busy or I'm not feeling motivated or happy about it.

6. Walks with Luna. My daily walk with Luna used to be something I would resent sometimes and treasure others. But now that we live far away from a walking place and it doesn't happen every day, I realize how much I loved those walks. How they made me step back and be present with where I was with my day and my life. How they allowed for gentle and kind movement. How good they were for Luna and me. I miss them dearly and really look forward to being able to step out the front door and walk her again when we are in England.

Here is my reminder to do more of the things that make me love myself and care for myself. I know I'll feel more like the person I truly want to be than I do currently.